Conflict in the Workplace? How HR Can Help
This page details what you can expect when you reach out to HR to discuss a workplace conflict or difficulty.
This page details what you can expect when you reach out to HR to discuss a workplace conflict or difficulty.
This page details what you can expect when you reach out to HR to discuss a workplace conflict or difficulty.
In advance, HR staff will ask if you’re hoping to discuss something personal or work-related. Your answer helps us prepare any relevant external referrals.
HR staff will listen to your concerns, and work with you to refine what your goals are for the situation you are describing. Based on your goals, you might proceed to phase two (Coaching and Advisement).
In most cases, you and HR staff will document collaboratively. This means you’ll finish the meeting by writing a few lines together that describe the outcomes of your conversation.
This documentation stays internal to HR, and you can also have a copy.HR staff will ask if, when and how you’d like to follow up.
Before your phase one meeting, spend some time thinking about these two questions:
Some common reasons people bring an issue to HR are: they want more information or a referral to resources; they want a place to brainstorm or vent; they want to report an issue formally or want the organization to take action. Getting clear on your own goals will help us give you the most helpful information and support.
This information is useful for us to hear about because it gives us more context and ensures we don’t suggest duplicating tactics.
Below are some common examples of situations that employees often want to discuss in phase one, and which are often resolved in stage one:
- You are finding it difficult to communicate with a peer, and you would like to discuss the experience confidentially to get some ideas about how you might proceed.
- You are feeling frustrated with the dynamic on your team and you would like to understand what support the organization can offer to help your team improve.
- You want a third party perspective on a difficulty you are having with your team.
Yes. Phase one is not appropriate for situations of abuse, harassment or discrimination.
If HR staff learn of abuse, harassment or discrimination, they are obligated legally to elevate the issue to the HR Director. If you are witnessing or experiencing any of these prohibited behaviours, please consult our procedural map for reporting abuse here:
Based on the goals you defined in phase one, HR staff will work with you to make a support plan. This includes clarifying what a successful or workable outcome would look like. This will help you both know if and when the issue has resolved sufficiently.
In many cases, your HR staff person will provide coaching for you personally. If relevant, HR may also share examples of training or other resources that could help (for example, external coaching, conflict resolution training, etc).
HR staff will continue to document collaboratively with you. Documentation will summarize what information has been shared, what strategies have been tried, what action steps agreed upon and other key information.
Below are some questions that we suggest thinking about during phase two:
- From your perspective, what would be a good-enough solution to the problems you’re experiencing? What would be an excellent solution?
- If your concern is an interpersonal one and you are not able to resolve it adequately alone: are you willing to collaborate with the other party/parties on a solution? If not, is there something that could make you feel more comfortable to do so?
- If you are not willing to pursue collaboration: what is the cost/consequence of stopping here for you personally?
- If your concern is about an active conflict: which of your own behaviours are you willing and able to alter in this relationship, and which are you not?
Below are some common examples of situations that employees often want to discuss in phase two, and which are often resolved in phase two:
- You have defined a concern that you want to forward to your manager. You feel unsure/nervous and you would like to practice/role play scenarios.
- You’ve unpacked a conflict you are having with a peer and you feel the next step is to discuss the conflict with your peer, but you want coaching on how you might approach and structure those conversations well.
Your HR staff person may ask one of their fellow HR colleagues to support.
Your HR staff person will help you define your goals for facilitated engagement and collaborate with you to create a suggested process.
If you and the other party/parties share a team, your HR staff person will notify the team manager that you are proceeding with facilitated engagement. Typically, your manager does not have to be present in facilitated engagement. HR will update your manager afterwards with a summary of outcomes and any relevant next steps.
Based on your comfort level, you can reach out to the other party and invite them into facilitated engagement, or your HR staff person can do this.
The reach out will generally include questions or goals of the facilitated engagement, and a suggested agenda.
Facilitated engagement typically happens in person.
Your HR staff person will document the goals of the engagement, process and outcomes, and share the documentation with all parties.
Below are some questions that we suggest thinking about during phase three:
If you are feeling anxious or nervous about facilitated engagement: what support or pre-planning could help you feel more at ease? If you have a particular negative scenario that is troubling you, we suggest sharing it with your HR staff person, so you can collaboratively mitigate the chances of it occurring.
What outcome are you hoping for? Is there a working agreement or other shared principle that you want to ask your colleague to agree to? The more clarity you have about your ‘ask’, the easier it will be for your colleague to respond.
Yes, it is possible for an HR staff person to decide to advance your case from phase two to phase three. We only do this if we have significant concerns that what you are describing is significantly hampering the working environment or impacting yourself and/or others to a problematic degree. If this is the case, your HR staff person will present to you a variety of different ways that HR can bring the issues forward to your team or manager and will choose the approach with which you are most comfortable. (Some examples of a situation where HR would bring the issues forward independently: multiple members of a team have consulted privately about a particular communication dynamic and it is not resolving; a team is experiencing high turnover because of unrelenting conflict.)
- You have engaged in a conversation with your peer about the difficulties between you, but you weren’t able to come to an understanding, and you would like facilitated support.
- You would like another person in the room when you bring your concerns forward.
- You think a third party facilitator could help your team discuss the problems in a more productive way.
- Phase four is often stressful for all parties. To this end, HR aims to balance personal confidentiality with transparency and internal communications: as much as possible, communication about next steps is shared with all affected parties, so that everyone involved has an equal amount of information about the process.
- Depending on the nature of the problem, HR might suggest some or all parties receive training or external coaching. Group facilitation, mediation and other externally facilitated interventions are also possibilities.
- In extreme cases, HR might recommend that roles and responsibilities shift, or that reporting relationships are reorganized.
- You have brought your concerns to your manager, with your HR staff person as support, and the working relationship is continuing to deteriorate.
- As a result of the conflict, your team is experiencing ongoing retention problems and high turnover, and facilitated engagement is not helping.
- HR has supported your team through multiple facilitated conversations about the communication and conflict difficulties, the problems are not resolving, and work quality is suffering.
Below are some questions that we suggest thinking about during phase four:
- What support will be helpful for you in order to manage this phase and the associated stressors?
- From your perspective, what skills or learning can you glean about this conflict so far? What might you do differently in a similar situation in the future?
- From your perspective, what is the best-case scenario outcome? What options would you foresee from there?
- From your perspective, what is the worst-case scenario outcome, and what options would you foresee from there?
